My Three Loves

I feel mad lonely today. Just lonely like all alone in this muhfucka.

I am feeling that gloom again because I want a man in my life so bad I am about to start doing crazy shit. Like cutting off all my hair, tatooing my face and piercing my lip. Not. But you know what I mean. I’m really feeling bad that I don’t have anybody to send me little love notes or to go to the movies with or to try and impress with the West Indian Skill. And I’m feeling even worse because its not just a man I want, its three.

I want a man I get money with. I’m tired of fucking up hundreds and thousands, I’m ready to blow millions now. I want to be a man’s vehicle to serious paper. Let me explain because I know  that sounds crazy. I’m not selling ass, pussy or giving head for money. Period. But I want management that can get a chick focused and amped to paper chase for. I can’t do it myself because my head be a million fcken places at once and the motivation won’t be there. It won’t be motivation, it’ll be desperation.  I know me and I know I could get gassed up into producing millions and billions. I get off on the praise more than the money and I would pay a man a million dollars for the rush of being a bitch that could put a million dollars in his hands.

I want a sweetheart. Somebody I’m really feeling and I fuck with everyday, no drama, no lies/games/bullshit, no baggage. A sweetheart I can jog in the park with and rollerskate with and  have fun with.  Definitely younger than me and no kids, no baby mother, no wife, no dumbness.

I want (of course) the Soulmate. Let me tell you about the Soulmate. The Soulmate is gorgeous, cut thee fuck up, 6’4″ 225-275lbs ideally, rock solid. He is deep, irreligious, passionate and magnetic and shit is just *beautiful* with him. The Soulmate teaches me and enlightens me. He maybe has kids that he has custody of but other than that, I don’t want the Soulmate to have shit. I don’t want the Soulmate to come into Us already made. I want to build it up with him. I want it to be so beautiful with him like even when shit is bad, it’s still all good. And I want this man to love me to death, like he could never again be without me and the bond between us is so strong, it can overcome anything. I want the Soulmate to be fucked up in the game when we meet. I’m not even with throwing stuff in people’s faces so it’s not for that. I just don’t want to come into anybody’s pre-made anything. I want to build him up mentally and physically and spiritually while he does the same for me. I want the Soulmate to be Aries, Taurus, or Scorpio. I want to have a baby or two with the soulmate but… not more than I want all my kids to have the same father…

I wish me luck because what an order, lol.

The Get Money Man is possibly in the works. He’s the dude that I wrote about in the last post. I just thought of an Alias for him too…Five Oh Five. 505, like the jeans lmao.

The Sweetheart is nowhere to be found. The men I am meeting dis-fucking-gust me. First of all, I am not attracted to men my age, which is dead wrong but it is what it is. Second of all, why would I want to sneak around and get half assed by somebody else’s cheating piece of shit husband? The fuck would I want a piece of relationship for? For that, couldn’t I just stay with my own kids father?

The only possibility is this Sag dude I  met the same day 505 hit me up. He needs an alias too so we’ll call him 3rd Sun. 3rd Sun looks mad good and he is beyond smart and aware on the spiritual plane. But, he is all wrong for me and I’m not attracted to him sexually at all. He is definitely going in the movie though, without a doubt.

My Gemini cheating loser “sweetheart” (whose alias is Bogus Balonius) is locked up. That’s a fun dude but again, all wrong and I am not fucking him ever which is a problem.  I could never, ever, never play myself like I’ma make him my man and he is definitely not athletic, lmao… so there would be nooooo jogging, rollerskating and eating healthy for us. I miss Bogus like crazy because he was funny as hell but dude is so full of shit, you wonder how his organs and bones fit in there. I wonder how long he got sent for. Bogus is definitely going in the movie.

The Soulmate is nowhere in sight. I don’t have a bead on that guy at all….. He’s probably locked up right now with Bogus Balonius… or in the trenches in his country…. or sticking shit up in the Gulf of Aden, on his Red Beard steez.

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