Keep Secrets, Play Games or…How to Be a Mack

Life is funny this way. I started to post today about no longer being in the dumps and why that was. (I gained Perspective.)

What’s the deal, readership?

(I stole that. Straight stole it from BossMack TopSoil, Top Mack Nigga. Go check him out…His shit is not a blog, its an Education.)

Today your Gurl got that old thing back, feeling the spark of life. I’m not crying and on top of not crying, I’m smiling because shit is good, mane. Why, you ask?


I got that perspective courtesy of  two dudes who blog.  The first is BossMack TopSoil who I shouted out at the top and the second is DailyPiff CEO.

As I’m writing the post, I went off on a tangent about my girl Empress and ended up doing  a whole other post about our friendship instead. By the time I finished writing that and I went to go put the tags on it, I came up with “Realness” and I thought about the other shit, the Not So Realness. And that added to my Perspective.

My original post was about the perspective I got from two homies whose blogs I read. The first one is DailyPiff CEO. MP3 put me on to him and he’s funnier than a lil bit so its one of the e-highlights of my day now. I like Piff for a few reasons. He’s got goood sense, he’s my homegirl’s people, he’s a regular nigga and you can feel him. Even though he’s hood, you could tell with a broadened horizon, he’d grow into a real life Rennaissance man. Be sure to check him out and help him do good numbers so his movement can prosper.  A few days ago tho, he wrote a piece about having sex with somebody after you find out the cheated on you. What stuck out to me about that is when he said, “You be thinking the shit is even but hell no… its NEVER even.”

This combined with the perspective I got from the second bloggerman, BossMack TopSoil, and his piece about relationship questions, specifically the question about a woman whose house you’re posted up in being fed up wit ya.  He said basically after you do a certain amount of shit, you can’t go back because there will now be “larceny” in a bitch’s heart towards you.

So combine the two. You find out the man cheats, (because don’t get it fucked up, he didn’t cheat, that nigga cheats), you try and make it extra good to show him how much better it is with you than with Huh. But…the pain sits in your heart, still and the shit festers and festers and festers until that’s all you feel. And, shit is not even.

Your pride wants you to have this fellow back in the throes of loving you. So you do the needful that will net you that.

Your ego can’t take the loss to Huh. Its not personal, its business. Its a grudge match, not bidwhist with other bitches. It is not checkers, chess or mah jong, its a dog fight.  So you do whatever you have to so that bitch remains a side bitch.

You can’t get over the past. The whole way shit gets fucked up feels like the scenes in the movies when the crew is about to overcome and instead…one starts smoking crack (New Jack City), does some dickhead shit for no reason (The Score), buries his face in a mound of cocaine (Scarface)…the shit just feels like why? Why we had to go out like this? You think of all the shit y’all went thru together and how sweet it would have been to rise victorious, smelling like a rose,  oh so fly afterall and the longing for someway, somehow still, a happy ending… fucks with you. So you hang on to the dreams you had for the future and you mindlessly keep living with the man knowing you gotta get there someday regardless.


A future of what? And don’t forget, shit IS NOT even.

And this is where the the other part of the perspective I got from them comes in. For whatever reason, men have decided they are not going to be with one woman at a time. I’ll post another time about those possible reasons but for now, lets just accept that.

They are not going to be with one woman at a time. DailyPiff seems to be saying that he’ll have a main woman and shorties on the side. BossMack TopSoil has something called a BossBrizzle and a Team, consisting of a minor league and a Majors. The BossBrizzle is (unless this bitch cain’t read or it never occurred to her to google her man) okay with his having other women and the Teammates are okay with being the Team. OK. So far so good.

We’re going to excuse Piff right here because he acknowledges his cheating is cheating.

We’re going to turn the spotlight on BossMack TopSoil. Not to hate on dude, ’cause like I said, I like his blog and he has mastered a certain degree of success, and you can only respect that. He doesn’t acknowledge cheating. He also thinks of  relationships in terms of hiring and firing.

She said I’m no longer hired, she said that I am fired. Swag so stupid and this bitch straight dumped me.

-Gucci Mane, 2008

You get fired for displeasing the homie. Not pampering the swipe, not bringing “something” to the table, not presenting him with oblations, coming to house without asking, demanding he stop seeing other bitches and et cetera. (I already gave you his link so if you need a TopSoiltionary, make your mouse do what it do.)

When you get fired, you go kick rocks.

And then you disappear, to reappear again, as a Sour Bitch. You don’t have to get fired by BossMack TopSoil to be reborn as a Sour Bitch, you don’t even have to get fired (some Sour Bitches keep a man…like a pet usually) you just have to not Handle It Right.

And now we can excuse BossMack TopSoil and put the spotlight on Handling It Right.

We all know and agree on what a Sour Bitch is. They are rampant in public service jobs, jobs they take for the sole pupose of denying people benefits to which they are entitled, supervising their enslavement, authorizing tortue, co-signing that real live bullshit and of course, eating greasy food all day while they should be working. They are rampant in the hood, in some families and at every “Grown and Sexy”/ “All- White”/ “Single Ladies Free All Nite!” Affair.

We all know and agree on what a Sour Bitch is. And that we’d rather be dead than be one.

What we don’t know though is how do you Handle It Right so you don’t become one?

How do you handle the heartache, suspicion, hurt, betrayal, disrespect, rejection that sets in your heart when a man plays you so it doesn’t turn you Sour? And how do you do it again and again and again (because since dudes have decided they are not going to be with one woman, this is going to be a recurring problem) and again?

Tell me your thoughts on this Readership…

(Part II of Keep Secrets, Play Games or…How to Be a Mack coming soon. )


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